FMM throws Jesus under the bus

Occasionally a theist makes an argument so amusingly stupid that it would be a shame not to share it with a larger audience. This is one of those occasions.

On another thread, we’ve been discussing the unloving way in which God — supposing that he exists at all — is treating the victims of Hurricane Harvey (and the soon-to-be victims of Hurricane Irma, unfortunately). In the course of that discussion, fifthmonarchyman — a Christian — made the following, er, memorable argument:

Mung:

I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things.

– Isaiah 45:7

keiths:

Yes, and creating disaster for his children is exactly what every loving father sets out to do. Right, Mung?

Nothing says “I love you” like drowning someone or wiping out their possessions.

At that point fifthmonarchyman got the bright idea that he could defend God by arguing that God is not our father. He wrote:

quote:

the Originator of the heavens and the earth! How could it be that He should have a child without there ever having been a mate for Him – since it is He who has created everything, and He alone knows everything? – Sura 6:101

and

and say: “All praise is due to God, who begets no offspring, and has no partner in His dominion, and has no weakness, and therefore no need of any aid” -and [thus] extol His limitless greatness. – Sura 17:111

end quote:

That’s right, folks. Fifthmonarchyman quoted the Quran to argue against the idea that God is our father — forgetting that the latter idea comes straight from Jesus. What are the first two words of the Lord’s Prayer? Our Father.

Seeing fifth — a Christian — use the Quran to argue (unwittingly) against Jesus is one of the stupidest moves I’ve seen in a long while. I therefore renominate fifth for the title of World’s Worst Apologist.

After posting his comment, fifth belatedly realized that he had just thrown Jesus under the bus. He tried to undo the damage:

Get it keiths ?

A loving father is not the default understanding of God. Not by a long shot.

To know him as Father you need to have met his Son. Once you have met his Son you are simply not dissuaded when bad things happen.

peace

It’s a bit too late to backpedal, fifth.

This is a good time to quote Augustine again, on the topic of Christians who make fools of themselves:

…we should take all means to prevent such an embarrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and laugh it to scorn.

The inanity goes even deeper. I’ll elaborate in the comments.

1,207 thoughts on “FMM throws Jesus under the bus

  1. Woodbine:

    Why is saving the life of the kidnapped girl the most important thing when a human is in a position to save her – but when the only person available is God all of a sudden it’s the kidnapper’s free will that matters the most?

    It’s bizarre, isn’t it?

    And if the policeman did nothing to save the girl, he’d be excoriated. Yet God does nothing and Christians fall all over themselves to worship him.

    I’ve made a similar point in regard to the dog eating the baby’s head. An uncle who sat back and watched it happen, without intervening, would be vilified. God not only sees it happening and does nothing; he knew it would happen and did nothing to prevent it. But that’s A-OK with Christians.

    And in the dog scenario, whose free will are Christians worried about preserving? The dog’s?

  2. Alan:

    Not seeing why “Tsunamis kill innocent people” is a gotcha for Christianity.

    keiths:

    I know. You’re baffled by it.

    Yet thinkers on both sides understand that it is a serious problem for Christianity. Why not do some reading on the topic?

    phoodoo:

    There are thinkers on both sides for which it is not a problem-why don’t you do some reading keiths?

    I’ve done a ton of reading on the topic, but I’ve never seen anyone successfully address the problem.

    If you think they have, then quote them! Remember, I asked:

    Some readers might be thinking, “Well, sure, know-nothings like phoodoo, fifth, and Mung may not have good answers to your questions, but what about the pros? What about professional theologians and Christian philosophers?”

    They don’t have good answers either. I’ve looked far and wide.

    But if any of you think otherwise, feel free to quote your favorite theologian or philosopher on the subject and I’ll respond.

  3. Alan Fox: Not seeing why “Tsunamis kill innocent people” is a gotcha for Christianity.

    It isn’t. And keiths knows it isn’t. Yet he persists in pretending that he doesn’t know it. Definitely something going on there that has nothing to do with Christians and what they believe about God.

  4. keiths:
    CharlieM:

    Sure there is.Just accept that God doesn’t exist, or that if he does exist, he’s not powerful and loving.It makes perfect sense, and it fits the evidence.

    The problem is only a problem for believers who cling to the notion of a powerful, loving God, despite the overwhelming contrary evidence.

    Its not simple but neither is it a problem for anyone with a reasonable understanding of the spiritual and the workings of reincarnation and karma.

  5. keiths: Mockery can be a very effective form of criticism, as we’ve discussed many times here at TSZ.

    Yet you’re utterly immune to it and it hasn’t occurred to you yet that others share that immunity. Get a clue keiths. When you mock it just makes it appear like you don’t have an actual argument. It actually weakens any case you might think you have.

  6. newton: The Bible is the inerrant Word of God because it it written in the Bible that it is the inerrant Word of God.

    Where is it written?

  7. newton: 1 Samuel 15:2-3, God commanded Saul and the Israelites, “This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’”

    That was the Israelite God. Keiths doesn’t complain about him.

  8. keiths: I’ve done a ton of reading on the topic, but I’ve never seen anyone successfully address the problem.

    What in the world makes you think you would recognize when they have?

  9. CharlieM: Its not simple but neither is it a problem for anyone with a reasonable understanding of the spiritual and the workings of reincarnation and karma.

    Well, since you have that understanding, you can probably explain it to us. Go ahead. How do you resolve the problem?

  10. John Harshman: If that’s what you think it means then yes, it’s gibberish, and trivial gibberish at that. It’s not Mandarin, it’s a language I speak fluently, so that’s no excuse.

    I’m not saying that is what it means. I was pointing out just one property of blood that leads to consciousness. But blood has a host of other properties, many of which most people are unaware of.

  11. CharlieM: I’m not saying that is what it means. I was pointing out just one property of blood that leads to consciousness. But blood has a host of other properties, many of which most people are unaware of.

    So you have no idea what it means either. Gibberish, or the functional equivalent thereof.

  12. Woodbine: Why is saving the life of the kidnapped girl the most important thing when a human is in a position to save her – but when the only person available is God all of a sudden it’s the kidnapper’s free will that matters the most?

    But surely the kidnapped girl’s soul is ultimately the most important issue. That soul gets to Heaven.

  13. keiths:

    I’ve done a ton of reading on the topic, but I’ve never seen anyone successfully address the problem.

    phoodoo:

    What in the world makes you think you would recognize when they have?

    Then by all means help me out. Again:

    Some readers might be thinking, “Well, sure, know-nothings like phoodoo, fifth, and Mung may not have good answers to your questions, but what about the pros? What about professional theologians and Christian philosophers?”

    They don’t have good answers either. I’ve looked far and wide.

    But if any of you think otherwise, feel free to quote your favorite theologian or philosopher on the subject and I’ll respond.

  14. keiths: God had the power to forgive Adam and Eve. A loving God would have forgiven them. The Christian God refused to forgive them, banished them from the Garden, made their lives miserable, and then blamed their descendants as if they had anything to do with it.

    How do you know that it was specifically the Christian God that refused to forgive them? How do you know that the Christian God did not forgive them? Why should anyone believe your analysis?

    Why are you so afraid to answer the questions?

  15. keiths:

    Sure there is. Just accept that God doesn’t exist, or that if he does exist, he’s not powerful and loving. It makes perfect sense, and it fits the evidence.

    The problem is only a problem for believers who cling to the notion of a powerful, loving God, despite the overwhelming contrary evidence.

    CharlieM:

    Its not simple but neither is it a problem for anyone with a reasonable understanding of the spiritual and the workings of reincarnation and karma.

    John:

    Well, since you have that understanding, you can probably explain it to us. Go ahead. How do you resolve the problem?

    Seconded. And be sure to tell us why your explanation is superior to this one:

    Just accept that God doesn’t exist, or that if he does exist, he’s not powerful and loving. It makes perfect sense, and it fits the evidence.

  16. newton:

    1 Samuel 15:2-3, God commanded Saul and the Israelites, “This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’”

    Mung:

    That was the Israelite God. Keiths doesn’t complain about him.

    keiths:

    fifth,

    Do you believe that God was unable to resolve the problem of the Amalekites without butchering them all, including the children?

    Decent people think it’s monstrous to deliberately target children during war. Imagine the outcry if the US deliberately bombed the madrassas of the Taliban, for example.

    Yet when God slaughters children, it’s fine, according to you. Is that God’s way of showing his “love” for them?

  17. Mung,

    How do you know that it was specifically the Christian God that refused to forgive them?

    Are you seriously trying to argue that Yahweh is not the Christian God? Do you think that will get the Christian God off the hook?

  18. phoodoo:

    Woodbine would prefer a world without choices?

    Mung:

    A world without girls and sex.

    Mung’s world, in other words.

  19. Alan,

    But surely the kidnapped girl’s soul is ultimately the most important issue. That soul gets to Heaven.

    If that were the overriding concern, then believing Christians would kill their children to ensure their salvation before doubt had a chance to creep in.

    However, there is that little “Thou shalt not kill” detail.

    Anyway, you’re missing Woodbine’s point, which is about the double standard.

  20. I have noticed something interesting, that Keiths and Sal share one major thing in common. They uniquely appear to be universally disliked on BOTH sides of the aisle. Its quite an accomplishment.

  21. Mung,

    When you mock it just makes it appear like you don’t have an actual argument.

    Actually, no.

    And considering the amount of (attempted) mockery you dish out, that’s fortunate for you.

    Being unable to provide an argument is what makes it appear that you don’t have an argument. That’s where your problem typically lies.

  22. phoodoo,

    Since you’re back, would you care to provide the names of some thinkers who have successfully addressed the problem I raise in this thread, along with relevant quotes?

  23. keiths,
    Argument ala keiths:

    keiths: “That’s not what a loving God would do, that’s also not what a loving God would do, there can’t be a loving God because he would never do that.”

    Anyone who bothers to ask: “Then what is your definition of a loving God?”

    Keiths: “Stop trying to avoid the question, that’s not what a loving God would do…I CAN’T HEAR YOU!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU, NAH NAH”

  24. keiths,

    You could just try reading this thread. It wouldn’t even take effort. But you would have to pull your fingers out of your ears.

    Otherwise, go do your homework, its not my job.

  25. phoodoo,

    Since you are unable or unwilling to present your argument, why not find someone who makes a similar argument and present it instead?

  26. phoodoo, I think Woodbine has your number:

    But somehow your mind has gone into overdrive and concocted this slippery slope argument whereby if God refuses to kill children then he would therefore have to prevent anything bad happening anywhere, ever….OMG it’s the end of free will as we know it!!!!! This is nonsense…..

  27. keiths: Modern-day Christians aren’t Marcionites.

    So? Are you a Marcionite? What prevents you from accepting that the bible must be talking about different gods depending on who is doing the writing? What makes you think that all the different authors of all the different books of the bible are all talking about the same God? That’s another question you didn’t answer.

  28. keiths: Do you think that will get the Christian God off the hook?

    You’ve got the Christian God on a hook have you. How about moving him over to a cross. After that you can mock him and spit on him. And cast lots for his clothes.

  29. Mung,

    You’ve got the Christian God on a hook have you. How about moving him over to a cross. After that you can mock him and spit on him. And cast lots for his clothes.

    I don’t have to. He did all of that to himself, remember?

    From here:

    e) [God] decides that everyone must be tortured for eternity, because Adam and Eve ate from a tree that he was stupid enough to put in the Garden;

    f) decides that he might be willing to forgive everyone in exchange for more blood and gore;

    g) in the ultimate act of self-loathing, tortures himself to death; and

    h) with his blood lust satisfied, finally agrees to forgive people;

    i) except that even with his bloodlust temporarily satisfied, he’s still an asshole; so

    j) he decides that he’s still going to torture for eternity the folks who don’t believe in him at the moment of death, and only forgive the ones who suck up to him.

    Can’t you feel the love?

    As I remarked to fifth:

    It’s like a fireman who sets fire to your house and then takes credit for saving you from the flames. You fell for it, fifth, but not everyone is so gullible. You’re a believer, not a thinker. It simply never occurred to you to ask the right questions.

  30. phoodoo:
    Alan Fox,

    Woodbine would prefer a world without choices?

    Keiths already dredged up what I said earlier but you seem unable to absorb it so, third time’s the charm…..

    [Phoodoo], your mind has gone into overdrive and concocted this slippery slope argument whereby if God refuses to kill children then he would therefore have to prevent anything bad happening anywhere, ever….OMG it’s the end of free will as we know it!!!!! This is nonsense…..

    A world where God refrains from slaughtering children is not the same thing as a world without choices.

    Not even close.

  31. Mung:

    How do you know that it was specifically the Christian God that refused to forgive them [Adam and Eve]?

    keiths:

    Why are you asking that dumb question? Modern-day Christians aren’t Marcionites.

    And:

    Are you seriously trying to argue that Yahweh is not the Christian God? Do you think that will get the Christian God off the hook?

    Mung:

    So? Are you a Marcionite? What prevents you from accepting that the bible must be talking about different gods depending on who is doing the writing? What makes you think that all the different authors of all the different books of the bible are all talking about the same God? That’s another question you didn’t answer.

    You claim to be a Christian. Do you seriously not know that Christians consider the God of the Old Testament to be the same God as the God of the New Testament? Do you really think you can get the Christian God off the hook by arguing otherwise, as a Marcionite would?

  32. Phoodoo, it’s not necessary to come up with an exhaustive definition of what a loving God entails. It’s just necessary to explain how a direction to slaughter babies (well, anyone really, I don’t know why we always put so much stock in babies) could be entailed by the concept of a loving God. Perhaps you could explain this isolated point from your perspective? Is it a greater good type argument? By slaughtering some people now, a greater number of people are better off?

  33. Timothy, to phoodoo:

    Perhaps you could explain this isolated point from your perspective? Is it a greater good type argument? By slaughtering some people now, a greater number of people are better off?

    Or that somehow, God must slaughter babies because otherwise, we would live in a world without choice?

    If it’s either of those, please lay out your reasoning. If not, then tell us: why does your “loving” God choose to slaughter babies?

  34. I don’t get the choice argument in general anyway, but particularly in relation to the Amelekites, isn’t it the opposite? God is interfering in people’s choices by telling them what to do? (Questions for Phoodoo)

  35. Woodbine: There’s a potential quote mine if ever I saw one!

    True! Just something about the rhetorical flourish of “innocent babies” that always irritates me.

  36. Timothy:

    I don’t know why we always put so much stock in babies

    Woodbine:

    There’s a potential quote mine if ever I saw one!

    And from my earlier comment:

    Haven’t you ever loved a baby and wanted to drown it?

  37. Timothy: I don’t get the choice argument in general anyway,

    The idea is that if God stepped in every time to prevent a bad person committing an evil act then the world would be morally meaningless.

    The argument doesn’t work – a shooter whose bullet God flicks away from the target at the last moment is in exactly the same moral condition as if the bullet hit the mark.

    But this ‘free-will’ or ‘choice’ argument is irrelevant when applied to those folk directly killed by God (Amalekites et al), or victims of natural disasters.

    And that’s when the equally hopeless ‘greater-good’ arguments usually get wheeled out.

  38. Woodbine,

    And that’s when the equally hopeless ‘greater-good’ arguments usually get wheeled out.

    Or the closely-related ‘God works in mysterious ways’ arguments. As if declaring something a mystery somehow constituted a solution to the problem.

  39. Woodbine:

    But this ‘free-will’ or ‘choice’ argument is irrelevant when applied to those folk directly killed by God (Amalekites et al), or victims of natural disasters.

    Hence the far-fetched attempts to blame natural disasters on the Fall, so that they’re the fault of humans, not God.

  40. keiths: Or the closely-related ‘God works in mysterious ways’ arguments. As if declaring something a mystery somehow constituted a solution to the problem.

    Just to save them the trouble….

    Isaiah 55:8: For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares Ted Bundy the LORD.

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